i think I missed the blood moon tonight. ah such a shame, and i was pretty eager to see it too, i kept checking at the moon from the first night of april. Just now I checked at moon again and it didn’t glow red, i only saw the same neon-like light. oh well, there is still lyrid meteor shower though. they say it will last from 16th till 25th april, and the peak is on 22nd. i hope i wouldn’t miss it too for i’m kinda tempted to wish upon a shooting star lol (i know it is pointless, but somehow the notion of it is simply… romantic, eh?)
this is sudden, i know, but i don’t have anymore time. apparently i’m doomed by a reaper called computer network. i can’t, i can’t do this anymore, there’s nowhere to run. Its cahoots: pokopang, cokkie run, devil maker, facebook and tumblr have tricked me into pseudo bliss so i don’t have time to prepare my war against it. ahem right, back to the topic, in this last will, i will grant my most treasured property, my bookshelf with all my books inside, to my…. ah! it’s coming! please no no nooo *scream
translation: i have computer network exam in 1 hours and i still don’t have any idea what that tomfoolery of a textbook says
why i always have terrible case of identity crisis before my exam? so annoying. i keep thinking about what if i took different major before? you know, something that i (probably) wouldn’t have to force myself put much effort in it? (*snort, like i put some much effort right now) like… accounting for example. just because i’m moderately good with numbers, and many many~ people tell me i might do well there. well i like numbers, there’s nothing that could go wrong with number (if you are meticulous enough of course). such certainty, i love it.
but back then, i decided to choose something that hold uncertainty, for i didn’t know how far could i go, i didn’t even have the basic knowledge (well, i had few of it actually, but i forgot) that’s so out of character for me. i need something challenging, that’s what i said. oh how i want to whack my past self for spouting nonsense like that. but the truth i also want to pat my head. you see, because i don’t regret what i had chosen for my future, to actually dare my myself do something outside ‘the safe zone’. i have to change or else i would be the same old me 10 years later, even for someone who have mild peter pan syndrome like me, that’s horrifying.
so i say to myself right now: do something you don’t expect yourself to do (like, stop procrastinating on tumblr and begin to do some actual study), you may whine as much as you can (you’re whiny queen, so i understand you need to vent a little) but for God sake, if you want to change you have to start picking those papers and read those fancy and perplexing material (after all you love reading the most, eh?). you might want to thank yourself now in the future.
gah i’m no good at pep talk, it’s exhausting to do this every exam season (it’s not helping that sometimes i’m too dense to even listen to my own pep talk). but who else could motivate me better than myself? 私, moi, ich, ego, aku, and more of its synonym another language.
captain F speaking,
emergency has passed
safely if i might add
no harm done,
no blackmail received.
not even laughter heard
apparently the infiltrator
only wanted to see us panic
well nice for him, he could have his amusement
i guess we overreact a little
we would return to our old base
you all can relax now
no need to stay vigilant all the time anymore
(to tell the truth, i’m glad i can use my old url, firofthefern, again. It’s time of the magic!)
Admire. I like it, the idea of it. Because admire is something you can only do if you are ‘far’ from the object of admiration. You can’t get too close and keep admiring, you see, because admire is an amalgamation of reverence and fear. So by natural law, if you break one essence of it, fear, by coming closer, that admiration will turn into something else. Something more intimate. Like love, or hate.